Signs Of A Project In Trouble

Recently I had a contract at one of our local banks (to remain un-named in this post). After about the first week, I knew we were all in trouble.

• I was a new resource being brought on less than two months away from  the scheduled delivery date of the first release.
• The primary developers on the project were all working 10, 12, 14 hours per day 6-7 days a week - for the last several months, and the whole short time I was on the project.
• They claimed to be doing "Agile", but our standup meetings were lasting 45 - 60 minutes each day.
• Their "burn down" chart was an Excel spreadsheet (a very clever one) with a worksheet for each sprint that only the Scrum master could update, and was updated during the standup by everyone giving their hours worked rather than the number of hours remaining.
• Reviewing past sprints I realized that their initial estimates of effort compared to the actual effort recorded was off by 30% - 150% over the various sprints. Yet they kept making the same sorts of estimates at the beginning of each sprint.
• Their concept of velocity was based on how many effort hours they achieved, rather than how much work was completed.

There were other factors too numerous to mention at this point. This bank is also known for simply defunding projects. In the last 30 years, I've worked there a total of 3 times. This was the first project I was on that was de-funded, but each time there was some project that was suddenly de-funded.

So, after two months of being on the project, one day it was announced that they had failed to receive further funding from the internal customer to complete the deliverable that was due a month earlier...

Fortunately, I had anticipated this, and already had another contract lined up. A happier place to work, at a higher rate of pay, with more control over the product deliverable.

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

Why did I switch to Blogger?

Basically, for the same reasons I originally switched to BlogEngine: cheap, lazy, old curmudgeon.

It's actually cheaper than BlogEngine, because I don't have to pay for a site on which to host it.

It's easier for me, because I don't have any configuration work to do if I want to add associated blogs, (of which I have several), which means my laziness is less of an impediment. I still haven't figured out out the telepathic blog interface that allows me to create a blog instantly from any random thought/drivel that pops into my mind when I wake up. So I still have to get up in the morning and go to my desk...

I'm still a curmudgeon, and even older than I was before.

The Myth of the Magic Bean

(Originally posted 2008.10.09)

One of my clients has an office that provides free Peets coffee. They buy one pound at a time, whole bean, and store it in the freezer. When coffee is to be made, you grind the beans in the grinder, put the grounds in the maker, add water and electricity to the machine, and voilà, we have coffee!


What drives me crazy, is they steadfastly refuse to clean out the grinder. They like to leave the "dust" of the former beans from one grind to another. So what's the problem, eh?

What happens to butter when you leave it out at room temperature? It goes rancid. What happens to vegetable oils when you leave them out at room temperature? They go rancid. Any edible oil will go rancid when left in the open at room temperature. Except the magic coffee beans. These must be the same type of famous beans that Jack traded for his mother's cow (according to the fairy tale). Apparently the oil in coffee beans never goes rancid (in some peoples minds). So, when I grind the beans, social sabatouer that I am, I clean the coffee grinder! Hah! Take that you addled regenerates!

Now, in my defense, my #1 child works part time at the original Peets store in Beserkeley when home from college. The original Peets store, the progenitor of the gourmet coffee craze. Guess what? Peets cleans all their equipment, every single day. I'm guessing they have a far better appreciation for the true attributes of the "magic bean".

If it's good enough for Peets, it's good enough for me...